Super Bowl to spam,
I've written them all.

After all the creative briefs, pitches, deadlines, award shows and agency Christmas parties, you learn a thing or two about how to write an ad. Problem is, I've forgotten most of them.

• Never underestimate the customer's intelligence.
• Say no to exclamation points.
• No dick jokes.
• Somewhere, hiding in plain view, is an undeniable truth about the brand.
• If it's been done, scrap it.
• Say something that no one else can say.
• If you can't get their attention, it doesn't matter how good your concept is.
• The best graphics can't make a bad concept any better.
• Find out what the audience wants - talk to them, not at them.
• Hop off the bandwagon. Ignore the trends.
• Fiddle with the brand at your own peril.
• Ads usually comprise of four components. If you can illustrate your argument in three, that's great. Just two, awesome. But if you can do it in one, it's a winner.
• Recognize the importance of empathy.
• Create advertising that people wish they thought of.
• When media and creative work together, amazing happens.
• 'Very' and 'fucking' are interchangeable. 
• To be continued...